To call the concept lazy does not begin to describe it.
To call the head-cropping and sky coloring sloppy does not begin to decry it.
To call the trailer full of hilarious twists… well, that’s just true, particularly when Sam Jackson goes all Sam Jackson.
Posted by Joseph, via cinematical.
Captivate is a service which installs small LCD monitors in the elevators of tall fancy office buildings, on which it displays a text-based mix of locally focused current “news” and entertainment, along with advertisements thinly veiled as book or restaurant reviews. They also have a daily question for its viewers, and display the answers on screen as well as online. They’re usually short and frequently dumb, as seen here:
What’s the worst movie sequel you’ve ever seen?
The Astronaut[‘]s Wife was the worse movie I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t supposed to be a comedy but people laughed at most scenes. The enitre theater laughed when the wife was trying to kill her unborn child.
Justin
Boston, MA
[Note: Not a sequel.]
.
Child’s Play
Victoria
Atlanta, GA
[Note: Not a sequel.]
.
But sometimes they’re absolute gems, as follows in the rambling, proto-racist sea of errors in which one man is drowning:
This one is easy„ in 1980 a movie came out that was so bad, i thoght no one could ever make one worse, but then in 1989 they came out with a sequel, and wow was it bad. title : “The Gods must be crazy”. It was about a bushmam that finds a coke bottle that a guy threw out of his airplane window and this bushman finds it and uses it for a tool. well the entire village fights over the bottle and people start getting hurt over this bottle. so the bushman that finds it decides that he has to get rid of it, so he takes a journey to “the end of the earth” ( a cliff ) and throws it off the cliff. the entire movie was no talking„ just “clicks” that the bush people use to communicate. worst two movies ever !!
Patrick
LA =rude drivers, CA
[Note: Except for all the scenes in which white people speak English. Also, plotline describes the original film. Not a sequel.]
Posted by Matt Carman
Don’t worry, uninformed citizen. CNET’s news feed has got you covered.
Posted by Matt Carman
From a photograph entered into the open call for the Brooklyn Museum’s Click! exhibit. Hint to store owners: if one wants to bring in customers of all shapes and sizes, be sure to stock clothes that will fit (preferably zipped) onto those bodies. Otherwise, be prepared for increased foot traffic in front of, but not into, your store. And masturbating street urchins.
Posted by Matt Carman. Photograph by Micheline Gingras.
Sure, David Gordon Green has made some surprising choices in his career, the latest of which has been to direct a stoner buddy comedy (see Pineapple Express) instead of his usual slow, southern-rooted character pieces. But who knew he had been a short-shorts model in his salad days?
Posted by Matt Carman
![A banner ad that Napster uses on its own site.
A. Did someone think this was a sentence? Because it is not a sentence. Fault: Napster’s quote-distilling interns.
B. Whose “corporate ass” is iTunes supposed to be kissing? I’m assuming Napster is using the quote to take a (misworded) jab at Apple as being overly money-obsessed and no longer of-the-people. But why or how would Apple kiss its own [corporate] ass? Since when is “Kiss your ass!” considered an insult?
However, if the correct logic of ass-kissing is applied (lesser entity [here, given as iTunes] kissing the ass of greater entity [here, Napster]), the sentence in its given form would imply that Napster is the corporate “its” in question. So if Napster were trying to paint itself as the plucky, independent underdog to Apple’s music empire, it hasn’t done a very good job of it. They also might want to remove the phrase “© 2003-2008, Napster, LLC [Limited Liability Company, i.e. Corporation]” from that very same page.
Posted by Matt Carman
The Village Voice, whose chimp-sized typewriters are largely responsible for this mess, currently features an article on its home page titled, “Please Don’t Ask Me Who I Am! I Don’t Know!”](http://media.tumblr.com/qPtbCcYaQbg1rcbeG8S9VfZg_400.jpg)
A banner ad that Napster uses on its own site.
A. Did someone think this was a sentence? Because it is not a sentence. Fault: Napster’s quote-distilling interns.
B. Whose “corporate ass” is iTunes supposed to be kissing? I’m assuming Napster is using the quote to take a (misworded) jab at Apple as being overly money-obsessed and no longer of-the-people. But why or how would Apple kiss its own [corporate] ass? Since when is “Kiss your ass!” considered an insult?
However, if the correct logic of ass-kissing is applied (lesser entity [here, given as iTunes] kissing the ass of greater entity [here, Napster]), the sentence in its given form would imply that Napster is the corporate “its” in question. So if Napster were trying to paint itself as the plucky, independent underdog to Apple’s music empire, it hasn’t done a very good job of it. They also might want to remove the phrase “© 2003-2008, Napster, LLC [Limited Liability Company, i.e. Corporation]” from that very same page.
Posted by Matt Carman
The Village Voice, whose chimp-sized typewriters are largely responsible for this mess, currently features an article on its home page titled, “Please Don’t Ask Me Who I Am! I Don’t Know!”
When a public is not vigilant…
They can write, shoot, and create a marketing campaign for a third Ace Ventura. Since Mr. Carrey has moved onto non-animal-related high-concept comedies, they had to fill his shoes, and since Steve Carrell was busy and it worked so well for Dumb and Dumberer, the producers cast younger… about 30 years younger, to create Ace Ventura Jr.
Yay.
Posted by Joseph.
A coworker found this in his salad the other day. It looks like some kind of mid-metamorphosis sea slug, but as near as we could tell it was (hopefully) a two-inch pine cone. Crunch!
Posted by Matt Carman
To call The Osbourne Family Smile-Time Variety Hour an abomination does not begin to describe what Fox has wrought… yet again. I mean, aside from a train wreck, what could this show possibly look like? Will they do skits? Dance numbers? Songs? Together? What kind of forced family banter will open the show?
And the snake keeps eating its tail.
Posted by Joseph.
Sometimes grammar, is, sometimes, not easy. Either that or, this beer cozy is, out of breath. Found in Jamestown, Rhode Island by Melissa Meyer.
Posted by Matt Carman